Alice.

'Ello poppets. So, the main reason why I haven't posted a blog in a while is because I didn't want to post down and out stuff ya know? It's been difficult to wrap my head around things right now, and even more difficult to write (not that I've tried).

For me, it is really difficult to remember that I serve a BIG God. Who can make anything possible. I always tend to remember that "the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away." I've been wrestling with the thought that there's a chance that I may not return to Vanguard. I think about it so much that I begin to honestly BELIEVE that I won't be going back. And it's heart breaking. But more than that, it is confusing.

I began to really question and wonder what my ideas of a future are. What my dreams are. Where I'm going. I know, this could be easy... But it has really never been for me.

That's when nothing sounds more perfect than to live in the woods. Alone. Being all bohemian and mystical. With nothing to do but wonder and explore and worship.

I don't know what I want God to do anymore. Yes, I want him to do his will. But shouldn't I be working towards that too? And how can I when I don't know what it is?

Basically, I'm figuring out life. Me. God. Again... It never ends.