Broken Record.

So I’m reading this book called Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz). It’s not for a class. It’s not for anything except… like most books should be… for my personal growth. The book is basically a memoir. Donald Miller and his buddy Paul drive from Texas to Oregon in Paul’s VW Bus without any stops at Motels. They just continue driving. It is how he finds light, God, and beauty on the open road. The way that Miller writes it is said to be “a moody, meandering style that is pitch-perfect young Rose-City –bohemian prose” (The Williamette Weekly). I just wanted to share an excerpt:

“And maybe when a person doesn’t buy the lies anymore, when a human stops long enough to realize the stuff people say to get us to part with our money often isn’t true, we can finally see the sunrise, smell the wetness in a Gulf breeze, stand in awe at a downpour no less magnificent than a twenty-thousand foot waterfall, ten square miles wide, wonder at the physics of a duck paddling itself across the surface of a pond, enjoy the reflection of the sun on the face of the moon and know, This is what I was made to do. This is who I was made to be, that life is being given to me as a gift, that light is a metaphor, and God is doing these things to dazzle us.” (Page 77… of all numbers!)

Sometimes I get caught up in lies. Not lies I tell, lies that I hear and believe. We go through life wondering about tomorrow. Sometimes even worrying about tomorrow. What will I eat? What will I wear? What am I SUPPOSED to wear? Or drive? Or say? Or act? We get distracted by the world. Even if the world doesn’t enter us or affect us… It can still be a distraction. So why I love this passage so much is because of the sheer genius and truth in it! We were made to be dazzled by God’s works! A duck paddling in water? Have you ever thought that that action required innovation or genius? I never even thought about. But the Earth just shouts of God’s glory and goodness! I wish I could say that I notice it every day. But I don’t. But what if I start trying? What else would God show to me? He has proven himself to be like that in my life. Showing me his glory! It makes me think back to about a week ago... My friends and I were walking from the cafeteria to the dorms after lunch. As I look at my phone to text, I see below me something moving. I thought it was a leaf. I look closer and it was a crab! A little blue, green, and red crab! Why was it there? I’m not sure! We’re at least 10 minutes from the beach! So we take pictures, name it Henry and it scurries away. I only thought it was cool. Looking back… it’s amazing that God designed that crab! With its own defense and protection. God’s the ultimate artist. Look at how he designed us! Yet we are bombarded with lies and false realties of how we should look. I am SO done believing all of those! I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that full well.

So. This book reminds me that life was meant to be lived, not just gotten through. My dear friend Samantha is leaving for a missionary school in Hawaii. And she’s nervous! Of course! I was out of my MIND nervous on my seven hour drive to Costa Mesa! But then I realize… how many people get to experience that feeling? The fear of the unknown? The nerves? It’s scary, sure. But it means that you’re trying something new! It means that you’re trusting God! Which is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced with him!

I want to live my life. I worry about who I will be. What I will be. What God wants me to do with my life… My life is now. What does he want me to do with it? Be in awe of him! And I am!!! I am SO amazed by him. He has been blowing me away. I know he has my future in his hands. So as long as I seek after him… the rest is gravy.
“This love is so deep. It’s more than I can stand. I melt in your peace. It’s overwhelming.”
I came across a verse a month or so ago. Before I left for school actually. It talks about God singing over us. I didn’t know what that meant. So I asked him: “God, how do you sing over me?” Wow. He did not let me down. It’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.