The end of a book.

I remember posting a blog a while back about the book I was reading, Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller. I had stopped reading it after that. I was half way through but school started getting stressful and I started getting busier and I just didn't have time to read it. But lately I've been in this.... thoughtful state. I get kind of quiet. Not upset... just thinking.

And so I started reading the book again less than a week ago.
And I just finished it. I think I understand why I had to finish it NOW. Why I stopped and why I picked it up again.
God spoke so much through that book. I mean, it was going to happen considering it IS about finding God and beauty on the open road...
But I just needed to read about it. I needed to hear Donald Miller say it. I was sitting in my bed today for an hour and a half (my bed is really high, so it was like a nest). And I had to stop. And write down my thoughts. Then I literally just felt God love me! It was almost tangible! I couldn't help but smile and I had this feeling in my chest and my stomach.
I figure that's what being in love feels like.

This book is number two on my list. It is THAT good. Please read it. I'm trying to find Blue Like Jazz so I can start reading that one...

Today has just been a peaceful day. While I felt upset at some points and down on myself... I just stopped. I listened to Mumford and Sons... Picked up this book... and just emersed myself in the way I get myself to God's presence. He knows what strings to pull at.

This book got me thinking too: about the need for accumulation of "stuff." Donald Miller and Paul Harris lived out of Paul's Volkswagen van for 3 months. Except for the occasional stay at friends' houses. And his perspective on life and God changed so drastically. He experienced beauty.

I'm going to try to experience it. For myself. I decided that I'm not going to wear makeup anymore (aside from special occasions). I'm not going to worry about how I look. Isn't my heart so much more important? I figure that while I'm learning to love myself, I'll have the ability to love God even more. And love people more for that matter. And if I can do that without any masks... I consider that an accomplishment.

So far here... I'm learning a lot more than just the Civil War, who wrote the New Testament, or different belief systems in different cultures. I'm learning almost everything over again ya know? I realized about a month back that I really didn't know anything. So I abandoned what I thought I knew before- and let God reknew my mind, spirit, and heart from scratch.

I'll figure things out in time. And if I don't... that's okay. Life's meant to be enjoyed and marveled at.

Please read the book!! You'll be glad you did!